Thursday, February 5, 2009

Why Aren't These Real Words?

If you've ever tried to post a comment on a website, you know that you're confronted with "words" that you're required to type into a box. These are listed to foil computer responses, or so I'm told.

Some of these "words" are too just good to exclude from the English language. I've saved a few of them, along with what I believe would be appropriate definitions:

Acrudir: an asset that has been assigned to you.

Bellwoof: a chained dog.

Browsness: a desire to go online.

Chaptio: flaky skin.

Chundert: vomit.

Dinte: a small, largely unimportant matter.

Gasorque: severe intestinal cramps.

Glrfist: a social misfit.

Hosif: unfortunately, Joseph has a harelip.

Inden: start a paragraph one space short.

Leaprapti: a kangaroo-like mammal.

Molatar: a specialty dermatologist.

Pitenam: the Asian black hole in which the U.S. made war in the 60's and 70's.

Pressesh: pushy, obnoxious

Proarr: quite in favor of r's.

Proctant: a patient of a doctor who specializes in anuses.

Proaslump: a medicine for hemorrhoids.

Redicus: a state of preparedness in the Vatican.

Remors: kind of sorry, but not really.

Rumbulus: gang trouble in the Vatican.

Smerm: an apple-polisher.

Sproo: what you spit when you're taking a drink and someone makes you laugh.

Turgrit: pre-floss material between your teeth.

Untersy: placid, soft-spoken.

Whemezi: the bacteria that produces a bad cough.

There are undoubtedly thousands of these that could and should be words. Please send me your favorites at Who knows? We could drive Mr. Webster nuts!